Faith VS Fear
When you are raised in fear, you lose all hope and faith. Love will not thrive in fear, and love will never grow from those who were never passed the seed. Most of us believe we have found love in one form or another because if we don’t know what it feels like, then we can pretend it is simply a word that encompasses societal and cultural definitions of love. The fact that you are repeating trauma cycles, doubting your worth, doubting your divinity, unable to have faith, scared of change is proof that love was lacking for your parents, and raising. In turn, that lack was passed on to you. That lack created your foundation for relationships. The highest possible reality available to you BECAUSE you accepted that reality as normal, not because it had to be that way.
Eventually, we may find with enough outside influence; we learn to gauge relationship dynamics differently. We learn that our version of “normal” isn’t everyone else’s “normal.” We first learn this through observation as children but then through action as adults. How? Relationships and children. If you don’t learn through relationships, you will have the opportunity to learn when you see the lack of play out with your children’s reality.
In relationships, humans are designed to pull what they need. Your partner is designed to mirror your lack and package that up in a relationship dynamic. Self-esteem issues? You attracted someone who will remind you of them until you have the strength to repair that mindset and no longer attract people who reflect your lack. Raised with a toxic masculine structure? You will keep attracting them until you’ve had enough, reject the pattern, and realize there are other options out there. That your “what was” can now shift into a new dynamic of “what is.” That is when you attract differently. This births change.
Why do we do this? Because love is important. Not love like we think. Love, in the way you see yourself.
If you were raised in lack, with trauma, you don’t have a sense of self-love. You feel like the world didn’t care enough about you to nurture and care for you like it was supposed to. This “cruel world” chewed you up and spat you out, didn’t care about you, rejected you. On a larger scale, that is a reflection of lack into your creator and Earth. You are projecting the lack you faced as a child onto your environment, playing the victim because taking control seems impossible and overwhelming.
Repairing this is something you will have to learn over time through smaller reflections in your relationship dynamics. Every relationship teaches you more and more about what you like, who you are, what you have to offer, and when you’ve had enough- until you find yourself again. Until you see yourself as you truly are. A divine being in a glorious miraculous human body gifted to you by source and Earth because they loved you enough to create for you. Here in this state of gratitude, do we finally begin taking accountability, genuinely healing, and making change.
Then we are challenged with the fear of risk. Many people born in abuse cycles will not take risks or can be hyper risky. Why? One is terrified to die stuck in constant survival mode, terrified to lose their gift. The other lost all hope for a productive life, no longer sees value in their life, therefore has no fear of how that life is spent. Reckless with the gift. What is the balance here? Faith. Faith teaches us that you will have the courage to leave anything that doesn’t serve the soul’s growth and start fresh. Faith knows that your mental/emotional/physical/spiritual health is more important than anything else, and you will always be supported when you are making decisions inspired by that journey. Faith knows that when your heart leads, you will find the best road available to you. Faith is a deep inate understanding that there is a greater plan at hand that supports your heart because you are loved by your creator. Faith is recognizing that love and letting it heal the wounds left by those who didn’t understand love and fate.
But, if we don’t have faith, we don’t ever get the chance to see those roads. We instead only see risk and the desperate need for survival. We see limitations. We see impossibility. We see punishment. We continue repeated cycles because the risk is more powerful than faith in this mindset.
I’m here to say that faith will support your journey. Taking the leap is what separates you from the generations before you who repeated the patterns because they were too scared and confused faith with risk. Being able to stand out on the edge of an unknown road knowing that you are walking away from something that no longer serves your best interest, then welcoming something designed with your elevation and healing in mind—this is faith.
I wish you love, but more importantly I hope you find faith.
copyright protected Jessenia Nozzolillo 2020