Jessenia Nozzolillo

Shadow Work

Earth is hard.

It’s hard for many reasons. But the number one reason is that love doesn’t thrive here naturally. It’s a harsh, dense environment where we tend to fall into patterns of survival. In these patterns, we lose all sight of love because life is now “me vs the world” and not “me and the world.” Survival is fight or flight. Survival is self-defense. Survival is doing whatever it takes to be top dog. It’s competitive in physical nature, dried from all spiritual connections. So we find ourselves being pulled from the soul and soul’s purpose and into that physical competition. How will I be “the best,” prove myself, make millions, make my family proud, buy the house, get nice cars, look like a success to others? None of that brings us happiness. None of that feeds the soul. None of that is done in love. It’s done in survival—service to this physical race.

The more we get caught up in the physical race, the more we lose sight of our souls’ goals and purpose. If we are not functioning in our soul’s purpose, then we don’t see “we”; we only see “me.”

Most of us have chosen this lifetime as a completion cycle. We’re here to face it all. All that pain. All that struggle. All that trauma. What have you been repressing all these lives? What went unhealed? What did you do in times of survival that needs forgiveness? We’re here to break these generational patterns and curses. Lifetimes of these patterns turn abusive and toxic because they lacked love. Because they went unhealed.

It’s not an easy mission. It’s exhausting, in fact. Overwhelming. Most of us are entirely crumbling under the pressure. But it’s so important and necessary.

This week alone, I had five clients come to me feeling helpless, alone, shattered. Like they would never be able to make it out of this life and cycle. They thought they were doing the shadow work. They thought they were making progress. They have been working on it for years. But they find themselves getting sadder, more lost. Stuck. They find themselves feeling like they are losing aspects of themselves they use to hold dear. They feel like their personality is lost, fading away.

And I dig, I look around. I see the pain. They have searched their pain, looking for the trauma. Then try to throw the trauma away. Like picking up trash and trying to throw it into a can. The issue with this? YOU ARE NOT TRASH. We can’t heal this way. This will never work. You are participating in the abuse that created the trauma—rejecting that version of you—trying to get rid of them, like everyone else who didn’t know how to SIMPLY LOVE THEM.

We continue our pain because we didn’t feel LOVED. We don’t heal that with CONTINUED  rejection. And the longer we try. The longer we suffer.

If you are irritable, explosive, emotional, “raw,” and tender to your environment—you are not healing. You are rejecting, repressing, and trying to cut out the pain.

What should we do? Integration. We feel pain, observe a reaction, dig into that reaction looking for the root of the pain. What occurred to get us there? When did this begin? We take that tormented version of us and give them what they needed. We love them. Hold them. Give them forgiveness and compassion.

At some point in our healing, we realize that all of our pain is from times and circumstances others convinced us we were unworthy of love.

All of our healing involved reprogramming those memories and traumas to love anyway. The more we love, the more we realize how much the world lacks love and that our “enemies” and “oppressors” were just empty vessels, lacking love, lost in trauma, wandering the Earth confused.

We feel better now, so we don’t need to make others feel bad. We don’t need to punish others. Our vessel is filled with the most powerful substance known to creation, and gives us powerful clarity. Love is the only answer we are all looking for.

copyright protected Jessenia Nozzolillo 2020

#shadowork #healing

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